Hello, I am Ryuta Hamamoto from TIMEWELL Inc.
"I told my wife I was taking paternity leave and fully expected her to be thrilled. But instead I somehow got a lecture."
Those are the words of Naruhide Futani, Co-Founder and COO of TIMEWELL Inc. The 2022 revision of Japan's Child Care and Family Care Leave Act created the "Paternity Leave at Birth" system, and as society increasingly encourages fathers to take parental leave, Futani took approximately six weeks of paternity leave. His wife's reaction, however, was not what he had anticipated.
This article draws on the Futani family's real experience to introduce communication strategies for making male paternity leave a success — from three angles: what couples should discuss before taking leave, what to actually do during leave, and how to return to work smoothly afterward.
The Latest Situation on Male Paternity Leave: With the Uptake Rate at 40.5%
First, let's look at the latest situation surrounding male paternity leave.
Trends in Uptake Rate
| Year | Male Paternity Leave Rate | Change |
|---|---|---|
| FY2022 | 17.1% | +3.2pt |
| FY2023 | 30.1% | +13.0pt |
| FY2024 | 40.5% | +10.4pt |
| Government Target (2025) | 50% | — |
| Government Target (FY2030) | 85% | — |
According to the "FY2024 Basic Survey on Employment Equality" released by the Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare in July 2025, the male parental leave uptake rate exceeded 40% for the first time, reaching an all-time high of 40.5%. Of the men who took parental leave, 82.6% made use of the "Paternity Leave at Birth" system.
Key Points of the 2025 Legal Revision
The Childcare and Family Care Leave Act was revised further in April 2025.
- Expansion of mandatory disclosure of male paternity leave uptake rates: Now mandatory for companies with more than 300 employees (previously more than 1,000)
- Revision of nursing care leave: Expansion of the eligible age range, greater flexibility in the reasons for taking leave
- Expansion of overtime exemption eligibility: Extended from children under three years old to before the start of elementary school
- Promotion of remote work: Obligation on employers to make efforts to create telework environments for employees raising children
Point 1: Is Paternity Leave Really the Best Option? Aligning Both Partners' Thinking
When Futani raised the topic of paternity leave, his wife's reaction was unexpected.
His Wife's Honest Perspective
His wife shared her thoughts:
"I had gone back to my parents' home for the birth, and my parents were nearby, so the first month after the baby was born wasn't that demanding. Because of that, I really didn't want him to take leave right at that time. It would have been more helpful for him to take leave when the baby started needing more hands-on care — and conversely, I didn't want him going back to full-time work once things got hectic."
Three Topics Couples Should Discuss
| Topic | Specific Points to Confirm |
|---|---|
| Timing of leave | Right after birth? After the one-month checkup? After returning from the grandparents' home? |
| How to return after leave | Immediate full-time return? Gradually increase workload? |
| Expected roles | Responsible for housework? Childcare? Support role? |
The Leave Plan the Futani Family Settled On
After their discussions, the Futani family arrived at the following plan:
- From birth to the one-month checkup: No leave — reduce workload instead
- Until three months after birth: Take paternity leave and participate fully in childcare
- From three months after birth onward: Gradually return to work and align on the pace for balancing work and childcare
"Taking paternity leave = what's best for the family" is not always true. The key is to find the optimal solution as a "family team" by considering various factors: your partner's situation, support available from parents, busy periods at work, and more.
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Point 2: Use Paternity Leave to Build Your Childcare and Household Skills
Paternity leave is just the beginning. Here is what Futani experienced and learned during his leave.
The New Dad Who Had Never Heard of a "Bib"
Futani looks back on the experience:
"Before taking leave, my wife asked me to grab a bib. I had no idea what a bib was. I kind of guessed at something and went to get it, but I was wrong. When she told me, 'You're at square one as a new dad,' it really hit me."
Skills to Develop During Paternity Leave
His wife describes the value of paternity leave:
"The great thing about paternity leave is that you can practice the childcare and housework that normally happens during work hours. Our baby takes a bath in the evening, and when he's working there's no way he'd be home for that. I told him that if he took leave, I wanted him to try doing the whole bath routine from start to finish — actually washing the baby, everything."
| Childcare Skill | Key Point |
|---|---|
| Bathing the baby | Practice during the evening time slot to truly master it |
| Diaper changes | Be able to complete the whole process independently |
| Getting the baby to sleep | Learn the patterns your baby responds to best |
| Preparing formula | Be able to prepare accurately with the right temperature and quantity |
| Preparing weaning food | Understand meal preparation appropriate for each age stage |
The ultimate goal is reaching a state where "Dad can handle any childcare and housework except breastfeeding" — making it much smoother to balance work and family after Mom returns to work.
Point 3: Share the Challenges of Childcare and Your Own State Frequently
What the Futani family practiced was communication that shares "in advance" how demanding childcare is.
Frequent Information Sharing
Futani reflects:
"Before the baby was born, my wife shared with me many times just how demanding childcare is. As a result, I understood that going back to work at the same pace after paternity leave ended might be difficult. So I was able to tell our team members in advance about how I planned to work after coming back, and set their expectations appropriately."
His wife shares a more specific approach:
"I proactively shared Instagram content about childcare, things I'd heard from friends, and news articles with my husband. For example, I found out that post-partum women can go through something called the 'irritability phase,' where hormonal changes can make them very irritable. So I told him in advance: 'If I seem irritable, it's because of my hormones — not because I want to be angry.' By sharing that ahead of time, my husband understood what was going on with my body."
Effective Ways to Share Information
| Timing | What to Share |
|---|---|
| Before birth | Articles and personal accounts about the demands of childcare; physical changes after childbirth |
| During leave | Day-to-day updates on childcare, things that are hard, things that were wonderful |
| Before returning to work | Post-return working style; division of childcare responsibilities; how to handle emergencies |
Sharing information in advance reduces "unexpected conflicts" and enables building a cooperative dynamic grounded in mutual understanding of each other's situation.
Partner Surveys: The Reality of How Women Feel About Male Paternity Leave
The Futani family's situation is not unusual. Survey data also reveals the complex feelings of partners.
Women's Concerns
According to Sekisui House's "Male Paternity Leave White Paper 2025" and surveys by the PERSOL Group, women have the following concerns:
- "I don't really know what my partner's role would be during paternity leave": 22.2%
- "I can't really imagine my partner doing childcare": 14.6%
- Concern about "standby fathering" (waiting to be told what to do rather than taking initiative)
Preventing "Paternity Leave in Name Only" Is the Challenge
At the same time, 55.3% of women whose partners did not take paternity leave said they "wanted them to take it." The demand for paternity leave itself is high, but what matters is avoiding "paternity leave in name only" — taking leave superficially without genuinely participating in childcare.
Survey results also show that satisfaction reaches 70.6% in households where couples discussed division of childcare and household responsibilities in advance, compared to just 37.0% in households that did not. Partner communication has an enormous impact on paternity leave satisfaction.
Creating an Environment That Supports Balancing Paternity Leave and Work
For male paternity leave to succeed as a "family team" effort, workplace understanding and effective use of available systems are important alongside family communication.
The New System Effective October 2025
From October 2025, systems supporting more flexible working are being implemented.
- Mandatory flexible work arrangements for employees raising children aged three to school entry are now required
- Employers must choose and implement at least two of the following five options:
- Flexible start times
- Telework (at least 10 days per month)
- On-site childcare facilities
- Leave specifically for childcare (at least 10 days per year)
- Reduced working hours
Making Paternity Leave Accessible Even at Small and Medium-Sized Companies
When executives at small and medium-sized companies like Futani take the lead in taking paternity leave, it drives a shift in organizational culture. TIMEWELL Inc. also provides business process outsourcing and transition support services for companies struggling with labor shortages caused by parental leave, resignations, or mental health challenges.
Combined with the AI-powered business automation service ZEROCK, routine operations can continue even during the period when headcount is temporarily reduced due to parental leave.
Summary
- Japan's male parental leave uptake rate reached 40.5% in FY2024; the government targets 85% by FY2030
- The optimal timing for paternity leave varies depending on the partner's situation and the availability of support from grandparents
- To prevent "paternity leave in name only," couples must discuss division of roles before the leave begins
- During paternity leave, aim for "able to do everything except breastfeeding" by actively building childcare and housework skills
- Sharing information about post-birth physical changes and stress in advance avoids unnecessary conflict
- The 2025 legal revision expanded telework and flexible working arrangements, improving the environment for balancing work and childcare
- Communication as a "family team" has an enormous influence on paternity leave satisfaction
References
- FY2024 Basic Survey on Employment Equality — Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare
- Key Points of the Childcare and Family Care Leave Act Revision Effective April 2025 — Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare
- Male Paternity Leave White Paper 2025 — Sekisui House
- Honest Survey on Male Paternity Leave — PERSOL Group
- 2026 Latest: What Is the Average Male Paternity Leave Duration? — Manekomi
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